[spoken] [Mrs A] "Brian, come to bed..." [Mr B] "Can't now—the code... it is all in my head." [Mrs A] "Brian, come to bed..." [Mr B] "Can't now—the head... the head..." [Intro – whispered + clicky beat] Hmm Dump it skip skip skip it Dump it skip skip skip it Hmm... [Verse 1 – mechanical, glitchy] Syntax error Hmm Syntax error Syn-syn-syn-syntax Eee—eee—eerror—errooor four o four not found [Break – distorted vocal loop] Bip bip bip Dump it skip skip—skip it Hmm... [Verse 2 – fragmented] Compile error Com-comp-comp Pile 'er Compile—herrrr Err Err Error [Miss A, sensual] "Brian, come to bed..." [Chorus – frantic, layered voices] Skip it skip skip skip it Skip it skip skip skip it Blip blip—hm Push to prod Break the pointer Push to prod Null is god [Bridge – flat, deadpan] Stack overflow Stack overflow Loop again Loop again Can't escape Break… continue… fake [Verse 3 – whispered/screamed] Semicolon Semicolon Kill the line Kill the line No return No return Control C Control me [Outro – spiraling down] Skip it skip skip skip it Blip it blip blip—break it Hmm Try again? Try again? Hmm... Run Run Run [Miss A, sensual] "Brian, GO TO HELL!!!" [Chorus – frantic, layered voices] Skip it skip skip skip it Skip it skip skip skip it Hmm Try again? Try again? Hmm... Run Run Run [Miss A, sensual] "Brian, GO TO HELL!!!"

[intro] HR said I scared the team. Good, that's literally my dream. [bridge] Tell me a time you thrived in fear. Right now, my man, right here. Name a time you faced your dread. Every ping that starts with "Thread…" [hook] Dear hiring algorithm, be kind. If culture's king and code is cheap, Hire a mascot. I need sleep. Dear hiring algorithm — be kind. I'll apply again. Never mind. I'll apply again. Never mind. Never mind. [verse_rap] Sixteen rounds. Still no win. Smile for Zoom, then ghost again. Feedback? None. Just read the signs. "Keep in touch!" means nevermind. [hook] Dear hiring algorithm, be kind! Draw a tree. Do it fast. Red flags? Your whole stack. Dear hiring algorithm, be kind. I'll apply again. Never mind. I'll apply again. Never mind. Never mind. [verse_rap] VP smiled. Said I'm raw. Asked if I'd break rules for law. Said, we need a rebel type. So I shipped it live. No hype. Next day flagged. Repo gone. Guess I got the rebel bit wrong. Guess I got it wrong. [hook] Dear hiring algorithm, be kind! Asked my thoughts on Agile scrums. Said, "That's jazz for product folks." Dear hiring algorithm — be kind. I'll apply again. Never mind. I'll apply again. Never mind. Never mind. [verse_rap] You pitched "market rate" like a gift. I've seen interns pull in more than this. Said "equity's the bigger play." Cool. I still gotta eat today. [hook] Dear hiring algorithm, be kind! Forty days. One long thread. Final ping: Position's dead. Dear hiring algorithm, be kind. I'll apply again. Never mind. I'll apply again. Never mind. Never mind. [outro] I don't mind. I don't mind. I don.t... mind. [music stops] Nobody seems to mind?